06 January 2009

SOS - the technology has me!





During another morning spent on the lounge watching cricket and cruising the net I stumbled upon the critical theory of 20th Century French social critic Jacques Ellul, who looks suspiciously like an ex-cricketer from Yorkshire in his photo.
I was getting swamped by the advertising for a new McCrap product on the telly featuring two young chaps exchanging disinterested glances and calling each other "dude", which given my love of the film The Big Lebowski I am not averse to, but incessant promotion of said generic product really got to me until Jacques jumped off the screen and explained a few things to me.

In arguing that advertising is a form of propaganda that is created to dull the senses of the individual and excite their need for living a collective ideal through some form of communion with technology, he says in his book The Technological Society, written in 1964, that;
"It is the emergence of mass media which makes possible the use of propaganda techniques on a societal scale. The orchestration of press, radio and television to create a continuous, lasting and total environment renders the influence of propaganda virtually unnoticed, precisely because it creates a constant environment. Mass media provides the link between the individual and the demands of the technological society."
As if he had somehow been subjected to Euro McCrap ads back in '64 penetrating my consciousness he goes on to say that,
"The primary purpose of advertising technique is the creation of a certain way of life. And here it is much less important to convince the individual rationally than to implant in him a certain conception of life. The object offered for sale by the advertiser is naturally indispensable to the realization of this way of life. Now, objects advertised are all the result of the same technical progress and are all of identical type from a cultural point of view. Therefore, advertisements seeking to prove that these objects are indispensable refer to the same conception of the world, man, progress, ideals - in short, life."
Touche my fine French friend!

I was taken back to a moment in time where I attacked a life-size Ronald on the Khao San Road in Bangkok for precisely the motives that Jacques details, though he was inanimate and obviously couldn't defend the honour of corporate greed machines like his employers, I none-the-less took great pleasure in working him over a bit with the help of a few locals.

The technology may have caught up with me but the likes of McCrap will never find me!

My mate Jack concludes with a precious piece of advice . . . "the human race is beginning confusedly to understand at last that it is living in a new and unfamiliar universe." Take it on home comrade!


05 January 2009

World Series Ghats and Other Cricket Moments





Had some flashbacks today while indulging that great summer past-time of watching cricket, passed out on the lounge with the fan on full tilt. I remembered some cricket I played on my first trip to India 9 years ago and how it changed my view of the Indian people and the way I interacted with them, as a cricket playing Aussie, and it introduced me to the profound colonising affect of the game in the former British Empire. Mind you there was plenty of fun and laughs and some quite surreal moments where the game raised itself to the status of a universal language where words became obsolete.

Varanasi
"Got a good game of cricket today, mini-test between me and 11 Indians out for blood after being thrashed by the Aussies back home, I have christened it “World Series Cricket Ghats”. I even got the honour of bowling to a local hero who bats in the middle for Varanasi, he carted me but I have been cordially invited to attend a match at main ghat tomorrow where I’m sure my bowling will take some stick and every ball I face will be a throat ball, bring it on, who needs a head anyway."

McCleod Ganj
"Went up the mountain for a walk and ended up hooking up with a bunch of Tibetan kids playing cricket. My most enjoyable cricketing experience so far, they really could play some, another example of the colonising effect of cricket. Possibly the highest game of cricket in the world and then it started to snow, potentially the first time this has happened. Too bizarre and thoroughly invigorating."

Calcutta
"The co-existence of Indian people and cricket is incredible, if the people speak a second language it is not English, it is cricket.
Most asked question, 'Where are you from, sir' … “Australia”
Most common reply, 'Oh, Mark Waugh, Steve Waugh, Shane Warne' blah blah blah”

Ramon - up on the border with Nepal
St Patricks Day high in the Himalaya drinking the local brew of fermented barley, " we settle back to watch the cricket on telly , it is an enthralling game with lots of action, a tight finish, which, as the cliché goes is “a good advertisement for the game”, but as if to make a mockery of this outcome the following program is a typical Indian attempt at encouraging serious life preserving, intellectual, thought-provoking analysis of the game of cricket. Kris Shrikanth and Jimmy Armanath, former greats of the game, front a program called “Straight Drive”, the show should be called “Hooked over the fence and caught out”, for its pitiful attempt to encourage public participation in analysis of the game, a bunch of disinterested and uninteresting , all-male, cricket fans who hardly get a word in edge-wise for the incessant rantings of Srikkanth and Armanath, who constantly switches between English and Hindi, as if this gives credibility to certain comments over others. The comical aspect of this program, apart from all the other farcical elements, is the ruminations and pseudo-incisive of a band of mid-range aficionados of the game, all live via satellite from the major Indian cities , a coach in Mumbai who misses the point of the questions and seems like he is talking in an echo chamber, two figures of anonymity in Madras who take an eternity to answer questions (as if imposing their own time delay) and are loath to look at the lens of the camera and finally an ex-state player in Calcutta who is afflicted by both a bad audio link and his preponderance toward waffling on with his own views which seems to incite contempt from the hosts. This show is not only unnecessary, it is pure and typical Indian nonsense, a show for a shows sake, but strangely it is entertaining for all its ridiculousness, but give it the flick anyway for showing wanton disregard for the civility of cricket."

What do I add to that analysis, I guess I'd still agree that cricket is a good waste of time presided over by ex-players trying to talk up the games importance in the scheme of things.

04 January 2009

The Difference Between Gazza & Gaza!




I've been following the situation in the Gaza Strip and lamenting the ability of either side to find a resolution to the their ongoing conflict.
I've also been browsing the perverse world of English Football where no news is bad news and so talk has turned again to former English player Paul "Gazza" Gascoigne who has admitted, not for the first time, that if he doesn't quit the bottle this time his life could be over.
Just what is the difference between Gazza and Gaza?
Well one is an over-inflated ego and wasted talent whose life has drifted out of control and become a source of great tragedy in the media, while Gaza is an ongoing conflict between two ideologically opposed groups of people who continue to waste the opportunity for peace because of their sheer bloody-mindedness and the egos of the leaders who continue to perpetrate one of the great ongoing tragedies, because like a recovering alcoholic they just keep "falling off the wagon".
Both have the ability to solve their issues but it seems their view is clouded by the habit of a lifetime, the "demon drink" in the case of Gazza and "murderous intent" in the case of Gaza.
I guess the media is responsible for the proliferation of such habits because they put these situations under the microscope for the sake of making news without serious consideration of the lives the impact on with their coverage of "Save Gazza" and "Save Gaza".
The media stooped so low recently as to quote Gazza's 12-year-old son Regan, in a television documentary called Saving Gazza , as saying that he thought his father would "die soon" and wished he would "go away" from the family.
"I don't think there's any point in helping him... I feel bad and sorry for him because he's in this kind of state but it's not our fault," the youngster said.
As Israel invades The Gaza Strip to possibly annihilate Hamas and the mostly non-violent and innocent Palestinian people, it is those people who are doing the most to let the truth be told on the ongoing situation, as one blogger wrote, "Whats sad is that we used to talk about the Arab failure, now we are talking about the Arab betrayal! The Arab countries are actually supporting Israel this time, and by the Arab countries I mean the governments not the people. Only if we would actually cooperate we can do so much, but our leaders are greedy and they will do anything to stay in power."
How is it that the muscles of the UN Security Council cannot be flexed to bring an end to the situation.
The press continues to report how Israel Bombs and provides Humanitarian Aid in equal measure.
What next, Gazza doing ads for lager and going on a bender in support of Alcoholics Anonymous!

03 January 2009

Be Aware!

" To be aware of a single shortcoming within yourself is more useful than to be aware of a thousand in somebody else "

- His Holiness the Dalai Lama

02 January 2009

Zen and the art of drinking beer!




It occurred to me while reading a blog article in Ode Magazine called "Zen and the art of drinking beer", that in fact it can be an incredibly (in moderation of course) meditational experience.
It takes me back to many a traveling moment when the cares of the world seemed far away, the location was perfect and only the taste of the local brew was having its hypnotic effect.

As the writer says, "We can meditate on anything we choose. Some people meditate using their breath or on yoga poses. Anything can be used for the practice of meditation, for the practice of mindful living. So next time you lift up a frosty glass of beer, just tell everyone around you that this is part of your spiritual practice". Indeed many Buddhist masters would agree that you can use the experiences in your daily life as part of your meditation.
Lama Yeshe says, "Buddhist meditation doesn't necessarily mean sitting cross-legged with your eyes closed. Simply observing how your mind is responding to the sense world can be a really perfect meditation and bring a perfect result."

It gives great hope to beginner practitioners, like myself, to think that we can incorporate the everyday pleasure of experiences like sipping on a favourite brew into our practice. Of course the key is, Mindfulness, and using it to generate wisdom and compassion on the path to generating loving kindness (Bodhichitta).

The photos are from a few moments on the road, Mumbai (Bombay) in India, Trieste in Italy, Bingan in Bali.

01 January 2009

A Peaceful and Happy New Year!





I woke to the news today that Tibetan exiles in India have avoided New Years Celebrations in favour of praying for their brothers and sisters who continue to suffer inside Tibet.
While I look forward to the privilege of another year free to write and think and enjoy my life in Australia, people such as the Tibetans continue to suffer in exile or under the occupation of the Chinese Government with a lack of basic human rights and with the ongoing destruction of their cultural heritage and natural environment. It is obvious that China's intent was always to get hold of Tibet's vast natural resources and the ongoing tragedy is that this comes at the cost of religious and social freedoms of its people.

As one blogger inside Tibet wrote, in relation to continued suffering of Tibetan and Chinese people at the hands of the government regime, "To respect life is to respect oneself, and to cherish the memory of the deceased is to rescue and redeem oneself ... 2009 is the year for us to cherish the memory of the deceased. And we have our own way to do so: make lamp offerings and light candles to commemorate the souls of the deceased, and recite the mantra of Avalokiteshvara: Om mani padme hum!"

May this year continue to highlight the need for the Chinese government and other oppressive regimes around the world to be held accountable for their "human rights" abuses and may leaders such as His Holiness the Dalai Lama continue to struggle for humanity and may they live long. Tibetan people recently voted unanimously to continue to support the "Middle Way" approach to seeking genuine autonomy for Tibet.

This year 2009 marks a number of anniversaries including 50 years of exile for His Holiness, 30 years since his first teachings in the West, 20 years since his Noble Peace Prize and 20 years since the infamous Newcastle earthquake.

I look forward to a productive and joyful year and more regular postings to this blog.

Dharamsala, Jan 1 (ANI): Exiled Tibetans avoided New Year celebrations in protest against China’’s occupation of their homeland. Tibetan Prime Minister-in-exile Samdong Ripoche said, “We are doing only religious ceremonies. We are not doing much pomp to mark our solidarity with the people suffering inside Tibet.” The Tibetans claim that the “Chinese atrocities” have increased since the March 14, 2008 Tibetan uprising in Lhasa, which China blamed on the Dalai Lama and his “clique.”
The riots later spilled over to the rest of Tibet and neighboring Chinese provinces with Tibetan populations, drawing global attention.
Rights groups say hundreds remain in jail following the protests where they are subjected to harsh treatment and even torture.
India is home to about 150,000 Tibetan exiles, most of whom arrived after escaping from Chinese in Tibet, over the past few decades.
Chinese troops marched into Tibet in 1950 and the Dalai Lama, fled into exile in 1959 after a failed uprising against Beijing’’s rule.
Tibet was rocked by anti-Chinese protests earlier in 2008, which China blamed on the Dalai Lama, whom it brands a separatist. He has repeatedly denied the claims.

12 May 2006

"The Happy Hour"

The Happy Hour – for Lex Bramble who was much loved by all.

He was a humble man,

A man who served his country proud

A man who raised a family

A man who sold the choicest cuts of meat

A man who shed a tear;

A man who fitted into any crowd

A man who lived contentedly

A man who we were honoured to meet

A man who shared a beer;

And now that the happy hour has come to pass,

I would propose this one last toast,

To this man;

Whose memory will live on in our hearts.

01 September 2004

Off to Climb a Mountain




We left Lembongan on the supply boat back to Padang Bai on Bali, only 7 of us and a pile of bags, on a sailing boat about as big as a small car, but no time to think about the delicacy of this position if a big swell hit, as a wet sail carries us all the way to the mainland with the fish jumping and dancing beside us.

From Padang Bai, we headed across to the island of Lombok. I made the decision to leave the boards behind, no chasing waves, we went chasing a mountain instead.
My physiology makes me good at running fast on flat ground but when it comes to going uphill I am not really inclined (pun intended)

The people of Lombok, who are Muslim, share a laid-back approach to life similar to the Balinese, it is on the big-population centre of Java, where the central government is based, that the most extreme fundamentalist elements plot to destabilise the harmony of the Indonesian archipelago. I find it hard to conceive of this country of over 13,000 islands and around 200 million people with such a diverse cultural, ethnic and linguistic landscape but my little taste of it allowed me to experience the power that faith and family values can bring to a people whose standard of living, in monetary terms, is far inferior to our own, but whose outlook on life is far superior in many ways.

The night before leaving I suggested to my friend that we might climb Gunung Rinjani, the second highest peak in Indonesia at 3,700+ metres, and being an adventurous person, she agreed.
So off we plunged to begin this epic test of endurance and stamina, both of which we had to find along the way. We climbed to around 2,700 metres the first day, gasping for air and hugging trees for therapy, doing whatever it takes to get up there and the reward was a spectacular sunset looking west to Bali, eyeball to eyeball with Agung peak and sitting atop an exceptionally beautiful volcano crater lake.

We wake at two am the next morning and head to the summit, which is alright when you can't see what you're doing but as daylight appears we're not quite there but staring at what seems like more than a fort-five degree slope to get to the top. We pushed ourselves to a point and then sat down to take in the sunrise. My friend waits while I push on, literally hands and heels because the centre of gravity is better that way. When I reach the summit the pain in my legs and lungs doesn’t seem to matter, at this height nothing seems to matter, the world is so insignificant.
My friend gets to the top around twenty minutes later, with that true Irish spirit she says that there was no point sitting there freezing, wondering what might have been. We take a few photos, gather ourselves and make the quick descent back to camp and a well-earned breakfast. (Over three hours up and one hour down is the equation)

Sixteen hours later we finished our day having descended a long way into the crater and then out again and then down again to darkness and rest. I reckon they need to employ a special minister for trekking just so that you know what you're in for, it gave new meaning to the word 'understatement', we still had to walk out for three hours the next day, minus shoes for they were superfluous to our feets requirements. A satisfying achievement, but it took another three days of makan tidur on the island of Gili Meno to rest our battered and sore bodies and to begin to feel sane again.

We headed back to Bali again, for some time in the mountain retreat of Ubud, a great place to unwind, a motorbike trip through the volcanoes of Kintamani and up to Lovina in the north to visit the hot springs (oh so soothing for the weary body) and another run in with the law, another red light, of course I still haven't seen it and this time a hundred and fifty thousand, but at least they took my money with a smile.

We finished our journey at Bingin beach, down the Uluwatu road, almost got wiped out by a French woman lighting a cigarette, taking a corner on the continental side of the road, we were mostly unscathed. We stayed in a hut on the hillside overlooking the beach and I finally dusted the cobwebs off the board and had a few very satisfying waves at 'Impossibles', not Bingin for the line-up was a traffic jam, even a few goat-boats out there, seemingly not drilling the reef but contributing to the havoc of over-touristed breaks.

Before leaving Bali I sold the board for fifty thousand rupiah, no prospective buyer appreciated the big crease on the bottom of it from some heavy wipe-outs, I bought myself one last Bintang, contemplated the sunset and my friend and I flew out the next day on separate planes.

Unfortunately, the day before I left Bali another bomb went off in Jakarta, this time outside the Australian embassy
I was so joyed to be flying through Jakarta the day after another bomb [not] and the day before September 11.
The Balinese I talked to about the bomb in Jakarta were just as dumbfounded as me, they really haven't got the time for it, it's bad for business and they're not an angry people.

Excuse the political angle for just a moment, but I believe our little John got past the post in the October 2004 election by getting mileage out of the fear this generated. A political tactic but perhaps in the poorest taste, but then that is his style after all.

Next Stop Thailand .................

22 August 2004

I Am Just a Humble Big Red




“Keith’s Asian Odyssey” – August 12, 2004 to February 14, 2005.

Keiths Biography

My name’s Keith, the red kangaroo, I was born on Australia Day (January 26) 1970, I stand over two metres tall and can put a man on the ground with one good hit, not that I get into it, we’re pacifists really, us big reds.

As I like to say, ‘the world is Keith’s Oyster’, and recently I left the country on a travel in South-East Asia and India. It is a real eye-opener for me to compare and contrast the Asian culture with our own fundamentally euro-centric and conservative lot.

This is the story of my “Tour of Duty”, surfing the breaks and climbing mountains in Indonesia, tracing the war histories of Thailand, Cambodia and Vietnam and Laos on "the great eastern grand prix circuit" and generally crossing paths with a cast of thousands, I hope you enjoy the read.

With a little trepidation I was loaded onto a Garuda airlines flight bound for Indonesia, though we weren’t flying Qantas, I had literally become the flying kangaroo they talk about in their advertising and quite honestly it was a little scary to be lifting off the terra-firma, more than the average bounding step I usually take. Though I was stuck in the cargo hold I could feel every one of those 30,000 odd feet as we rose above the ground, and the exhilaration of anticipation kept my nostrils flaring until we touched down again.

The first stop on my tour of duty was Bali, where I landed on a hot August day, to be greeted by a thousand unfamiliar faces and a scene unlike anything I had witnessed before.

Bali as you might know is a Hindu outpost in a Muslim-majority country, which makes it distinctly different in its take on Indonesian life. As a major tourist destination since the 1970’s for Australians in search of sun, surf and cheap everything (call it our Hawaii), the relationship we have with the Balinese is based on a shared sense of humour and an easy-going approach to life.

The bond was strengthened, all-be-it under tragic circumstances, by the bomb blast which ripped through two nightclubs in the tourist drag of Kuta on October 12, 2002.
This act of terror by Muslim extremists galvanized the vast cultural differences in Indonesia and most tellingly it increased the paranoia about the agenda of terrorists who showed no mercy in killing not only non-Muslims but their fellow-countrymen.
To the credit of these people they have worked through the trauma of such an event by getting on with business, which they are exceedingly good at, though I found it hard to witness my fellow people grinding them into the ground to save fifty cents on a pair of thongs, etc, etc, but this is all part of the deal I suppose.

The surf at Kuta is as flat as a pancake mostly, hardly a surfers paradise. So I headed out to the mythical break Uluwatu for a surf. This spot is infamous for a difficult paddle through the rip, which plagues the steep cliffs of the area. I actually managed to catch some waves in the gentle 3 to 4 foot conditions, and better still managed to paddle back into the cave without being pounded on the rocks. On the way out there on a scooter I copped a fifty thousand rupiah fine for running a red light, I swear I didn't see it, still haven’t, but try telling the traffic cops. They love a few tourist dollars to line the pockets particularly as the locals don’t slow down for anything.

Also went down to Jimbarran Bay, the seafood capital of Bali, where huts rub shoulders on the beach, as the fishing fleet, in a blaze of lights, is doing much the same out at sea. The spread is sumptuous and all for next to nothing, while the highlight is the wandering troubadours that drift up and down the sand entertaining the punters with some scintillating interpretations from the classic rock canon.
Since that night another bomb went off on this beach killing people from my hometown of Newcastle. This tragedy highlighted the rather arbitrary and callous pattern of the terrorists; they pick tourist targets but their not averse to killing their own people to make their point

My travelling companion for the Indo journey wanted to learn to surf. Being from Ireland, where water temperatures are, shall we say brisk and the waves of a considerable size, Bali is much more inviting as a school playground.
We headed over to Nusa Lembongan to stay with Ketuk and Sons in their Warung (small restaurant) and home; the fish they cook is a special, and their hospitality a pleasure. We took the executive suite and settled in for a week of Makan Tidur, Makan = Food, Tidur = Sleep, it literally translates from Indonesian as 'to do nothing', and is now firmly entrenched as my new mantra.
We found a good spot down on the beachfront for beeroclock sunset and peanuts each day, had a great time snorkelling on the reefs around the volcanic island Nusa Penida and caught the festivities of the Barong Dan festival which is like a Christmas for the gods, where the locals dress in traditional costumes and celebrate with music and dance.

I am not a fan of the wave at Shipwrecks [a.k.a. shit-fights] and unfortunately, in my capacity as surfing mentor to my friend I was most negligent in letting her out near the break where she was unceremoniously pounded by the sets and I managed no more than a few half waves. Thankfully with some coaxing she forgave me for my indiscretion as teacher. Needless to say the boards were parked for the rest of our time on the island.


In the next instalment read about my experience of climbing a mountain on Lombok ...................

18 August 2003

Indo-Amnaesia




Leaving the crisp morning breeze of a Newcastle winter, the intrepid adventurers set-off in the Falcon panno, cruising down the freeway to Sydney to set sail on the flying Garuda for the shores of that most topical of destinations, Indonesia, in search of summer dreams and those perfect tropical reef breaks that one hears talked about in surfing circles and of course another world of personal and cultural unknowns.

As we lined up at the ticket counter, the sense that we were on our way was palpable, but in true travel-style the waiting had only just begun.
The waiting to get there is the worst, the waiting in queues, waiting to take-off, the waiting to transcend the cabin of the plane and arrive at the destination.
As the bird leaves the urban expanses of the harbour city metropolis and crosses the Great Divide, we settle into the genesis of this journey and soon the vast brown land stretches out for what seems an interminable moment of space and time, then gives way to the Timor Sea in a flourish of blues and greens and possible swell formations, as on a wing and Allah’s prayer we make the final dash for our date with surfings spiritual playground.
Landing in Denpasar, Bali, airports left and rights and any number of other breaks provide a white cap collage to get the wave rider’s juices flowing.

We make our bid to escape the airport only to run headlong into the lines at passport control, but after the formalities of a stamp and the insistence of the “official” porters to carry our bags, we are finally spirited away in the local transport, the aptly named “Beamo” van which pushes and prods and finally screams its way to the hotel in downtown Legian.
Having pushed our way out into a bright steamy Bali day through the throng of locals about their daily routine, I have a sense that seemingly we are being transformed in an instant, at once foreign and yet reconciled with humanity in this heady setting so far removed from the chilly remains of home some 5000+ km’s away.

Away from the madding crowd, our little oasis is the hotel where you can swim to the bar for an ale, take breakfast on the terrace or listen to the house band murder all your favourite songs from the past, but the highlight of the experience is the complimentary wake-up call, the infamous “Legian Rooster”, whose four-thirty expression session is a hit with at least one wary sleeper.

In keeping with slogan of the locals, that this is “surf and paradise”, we set out by beamo in search of some mythical Bali waves, having passed the first night sampling the cuisine and a few bottles of Bintang, the local liquid gold. On a morning such as this, when the skies are blue, the water crystal clear and the landscape mysterious and so refreshingly new, one would be hard pressed to argue that this is indeed some form of paradise and when Padang Padang, on the south-west tip of the island, is offering up four feet of surging water to the intrepid paddler one must whole-heartedly agree that the surf is on.

There is an undeniable peace in waves, even on the face of every ominous wall breaking across the famed reef at Uluwatu. As you paddle out through the cave and are dragged immediately into the treacherous current sweeping along the coastal headland there is that initial sense of urgency tempered by helplessness as you push forward into the sets which stamp the reef with their presence in such relentless fashion. But as the serenity of the scene behind the break is reached, the overwhelming relief builds into anticipation as you contemplate the first precipitous leap onto this break and whether you can tame this unforgiving beast. Certainly, at the mercy of this menacing peak, I feel slightly daunted about my chances of retaining life and limb atop the indomitable “esky-lid”.
Alas, having conceded hours to the pursuit of paddling and taking few of the limited chances to successfully ride this wave I condescend to make my way in only to miss the cave completely and end up momentarily stranded on a rocky outcrop with only the sounds of what might have been.

The first near tragedy of the expedition is a dusk swim at Kuta Beach where two unsuspecting punters from the party are introduced to the treachery of the undertow, which sweeps them from the bank, making the return to shore an effort, but the vigilance of the local life-savers is rewarded as they come to the rescue of the said swimmers, meeting them with a heavy hand on the shoulder and a rescue tube to the head, but all’s well that ends well and everyone agreed that perhaps it’s a good idea to take notice of the signs which warn in BOLD letters of the dangers of the current, some advert for the beach.

Out here on the edge of the surfing world, they massage by kilometres, unlocking the tired bodies of the paddling masses, for more than thirty years surfers have been coming here and the resourceful locals have literally built a cottage tourist industry based on board-shorts, t-shirts, fruit shakes and the ever-present Nasi Goreng with a fried egg on the top. The local mascot “monkey-dog” is always on hand to greet the visitors while others hawk transport and boat tours.

While consuming a few ales that night and contemplating the events of the day and in the spirit of industry, which pervades the island, we hit upon the novel idea of building the Bintang pipeline from Bali to Darwin where great arteries would pump the stuff southward into the hearts and minds of all drinkers, a sort-of green glass amber fluid highway of remembrance for the surfing soul.

On an island adventure you can go any place you choose, but seemingly Nusa Lombangen had chosen us as its newest recruits and obligingly we took the boat from Sanur to what turned out to be another piece of Indo paradise. An afternoon boat ride out to a place called Chiningan throws up small but meaty waves as the tide drops across the reef. This picturesque spot, at the entrance to an inlet, is the meeting place of the cold currents, working their way up from the deep ocean trench which runs the length of Bali’s east coast, and the warm water which laps the island shelf. This was an exhilarating afternoons paddle with the occasional bigger set making for some hairy views of the exposed reef.
Nighttime came with a spectacular beeroclock sunset looking back toward the hazy silhouette of Bali and the pride of the islands maritime fleet.

Pelan, Pelan, Pelan, slowly, slowly, slowly, could be taken as the motto of the people here. On a bike-ride around the island, days seem to slowly drift upon the breeze, kids going to and from school offer a Selamat Pagi (Good Morning) and everyone goes about their business with ease. The big industry here is seaweed and there’s plenty to go around, once the harvest is in they sit and wait for it to dry before shipping it to such far away places as Europe and America where it is used in the cosmetics trade.
We are staying in the home of Ketuk and sons, their warung (small hotel) is a very hands-on affair, we are treated to Balinese–style steamed fish and the sort of hospitality that gets lost in the search for the elusive tourist dollar. While helping down the chilli with a selection of finest Bintang I am drawn to the words inscribed on a plate which read, ‘Fairest of months! Ripe summers queen, Sweet August doth appear’ and I am convinced we are in the midst of some romantic summer dream.

When you try not thinking in paradise the lazy days carry you along in their inimitable way, water gently lapping at the shore, golden sand glowing under bright sunshine, a light breeze to take the edge from the afternoons still heat, all thought is transfigured by the simple beauty of the nature of things, the outside world seems only a concept falling from the pages of some fictitious beat.
Late in the day a paddle is taken at “Shipwrecks”, but as the cloud closes in and the gusting wind begins to chop the waters surface, the lid flounders like hapless drift wood, one feels at the mercy of the mother herself, the serenity dimmed by multiple hands competing for the steep right-handers of the suitably renamed “Shit-fights”.

Were you here to witness the scene as the group made its way back to the mainland by boat, you would have been amused to see astonished faces as we boarded a craft no more than twenty feet long and perhaps three feet wide, carrying eleven people, nine bags and at least eight boards and assorted fishing gear. In our favour were the calm seas, brilliant sunshine and slight ocean breeze, which pushed us steadily toward our goal of reaching Kuta, Lombok that night.
At the end of our boat, beamo, boat, beamo epic journey we reached this sleepy fishing village on the south of the island with our sanity in tact and proceeded to be reacquainted with our little green Bintang friend and to receive the welcome of the legendary “Miffo” at his restaurant.
Unlike its namesake on Bali, this Kuta (meaning by the sea) was a revelation to behold, mostly un-spoilt and free from the graphic concrete and neon reach of the metropolis, you could easily be at home here amongst the palms, rocky headlands and untroubled lives of the villagers for an eternity.
Climbing hands and heels to the top of the nearest headland opened up spectacular views of the coastline and cast me back to another time where subsistence meant living in thatched huts, simple farming and raising of livestock. An old man, the lines of the ages etched across his forehead, came out to greet me as I traversed his fields, a smile beaming from his face in that quizzical way, we exchanged the few pleasantries in my repertoire Selamat Siang (Good Afternoon) and Apa Kabar (How Are You?) and then he waived me off as I walked on across the way.

An early morning scooter ride out to the left hand point break at Maui through rolling hills, which follow the coast to the west, fields of green tobacco and charming little villages by the roadside is an exciting way to commune with the countryside, the locals even come down to exact a small toll for the use of their beach and to sell us fruit and drinks, they look on with bemusement as we wander upon their ancestral lands.
With afternoon comes the chance to catch a traditional stick fighting tournament in the nearest town, this is truly the long hair life, careering along sealed roads by scooter, wrestling with traffic, dust, diesel and in the throes of that joy that becomes the travelers life. At the contest there are few foreigners, little kids make us the centre of their attention and we standby as any number of combatants beat the living shit from one another with thick bamboo sticks, trying haplessly to defend their skulls from collapse with their flimsy shields. Their skills as carriers of what you would suppose are ancient warrior arts attract much fan-fare from the crowd, the spectacle seems at once absurdly barbaric and yet attractively entertaining. We make good our escape for the dash back to Kuta as the sun makes its way into evening (sore), barely holding onto these unfamiliar roads but having earnt another visit to “Miffos”.

The southern swell is coming to Bangko Bangko, the famed desert point barrel, our guides Ang and Lam have assured us, so we set a course, eight people, boards, gear, food and all, in the resilient Kijang, the local transport, which miraculously holds together under some brutal treatment.
Alas, arrival brings disappointment, no swell today, but there are a few small barrels to be had for the wily lid, although at the cost of skin and blood. Wiser for the experience of coming into contact with the coral, I leave the scene feeling like masticated reef and beef.
At home with the villagers on “the point”, a wiry chicken is sacrificed, more for our amusement than culinary pleasure, and a truly comic moment ensues as it makes a bold bid for freedom having had its throat cut, only to be wrestled to the ground by one of the local kids.
A late rainstorm quells our attempts to maintain a fire on the beach while imbibing alternate medicinal shots of Arak and cheap whisky but we live in hope of the imminent arrival of a wopping great swell.

Again we were thwarted by the non-appearance of the swell and so it was to be that I couldn’t dance with the reef once more.
Back to Bali in search of greenroom pastures, a high speed boat ride in bumpy swells, the splintering of the group, and off to Ubud in the central north to catch up with the only active volcano on the island at Kintimani.
A short walk around the town reveals that this is possibly the carving and painting capital of Bali, with traditional dancing and those monkeys in the forest also high on the tourists priority list.

A night spent on cold porcelain breathing in the remnants of my own noxious gases is fair warning that a dose of the infamous “Bali-belly” beast is upon me, still the first rays of sunlight bring relief as I contemplate a climb to the top of the live wire Mount Batur.
After projecting the scooter through the predictably chaotic town traffic, we break out onto the open road, stretching its way to Kintimani, the volcano crater dating back to time immemorial, which contains the very much active Batur rising above villages and a picturesque lake. On the climb, we are followed by the discordant echoes of a dance party in the valley, that seems both out of place in this setting and yet somehow symbolic of the intense throbbing of the mountain above as it searches for a release. The view is spectacular, to the east is seen the highest point on Lombok and down below the trail of destruction that earlier eruptions have carved through the valley. To feel the heat generated by the earth, the steam released as if by some monolithic dragon just biding its time in hibernation, to walk upon a living organism of such magnitude is truly memorable, our position tenuous as at any moment the mountain may decide to launch our charcoal remains into the stratosphere.
But today there will be no eruption, no unadulterated display of the whimsical power of nature, the cloud closes in on Batur as we finish our descent and we make our way back to the insularity of civilization.

Back in the womb of Legian, the streets are still buzzing with the white noise of motion and commerce, endless days pass in the same way, this one stop melting pot of tourism struggling to find positive buoyancy after the devastating effects of the bombing less than twelve months previous.
In spite of the ongoing trauma the locals manage to get on with living, employing the belief that from adversity comes hope for the future.
Night-time brings a swingin’ seaside session down at Jimbarran Bay, the seafood capital of Bali, where huts rub shoulders on the beach as the fishing fleet, in a blaze of lights, is doing much the same out at sea. The spread is sumptuous and all for next to nothing, while the highlight is the wandering troubadours that drift up and down the sand entertaining the punters with some scintillating interpretations from the classic rock canon, our particular favourite player is the “Indo Miles” whose horn sounds less than noteworthy but it is the panache he injects into the band that makes him the standout of the night.

The last foray into the water is at Bingan where huts hang stoically to the cliff and the scenery is just fine.
Out on the reef the beach cover up is underway as the tide falls and having had my fair share of run-ins with the bottom I am determined to ride these waves with more grace and style and provide less points for the coral collecting flesh wounds. This final evening of the journey serves up another memorable beeroclock sunset, my mind as always is filled with the events of the days past and is intent on those precious green bottles and their sparring partner Nasi Goreng.

And then in the blink of sixteen days we are movin’ on out of this island paradise again. The time has been long enough to get a feel for the Indonesian way but not seemingly enough to find a way to touch the ground. On reflection the sensual stimulants, the waves, the faces, the good times all become one moment in a stop and go mission and as we board the plane there is one last chance to gasp the hot, thick air before the refrigerated reality of home bites our lungs once more.
Postscript: the swell came to Deserts after we left – the swell got to Bingan before we arrived – the Legian Rooster is alive and well, and waking unsuspecting tourists daily.